Just Seeing As Days Pass By

2009-08-15T00:34:00.002+08:00

Someone Save Me!!!!!
My heart is dead!
Please someone save!!!
I wanna kill myself!!!!
But whats holding me back!!!
Shitballs Must go drink nowww!!!!
Vodka Here I come!!!

The Greatest thing I have now

2009-08-11T17:03:00.006+08:00

Never I thought I would meet you.
Never would I thought I would Love you.
I love you so deeply that I'm drowning without realizing.
All I want is for us and for you to be happy.
That's all I ask from God.
That we stay together till death to us part.
I wanna take care of you.
Make you smile.
Make you laugh.
We share something that no one else has.
Something special that only you and I know.
We might fight, cry or sometimes feel we wanna kill ourselves.
But even if all this things happen.
We overcome them.
If a relationship that has no disagreements/fights.
Something is wrong.
That's just loving blindly.
To me, there's no such thing as the saying "Love is blind".
To me, it's not that love is blind.
It's the heart.
If one, who follows the head to love will be considered dumb.
If the one, who loves with heart and also soul.
Will always make the loved one happy.

So Shaz, this is a poem for you directly from my heart.

DON'T GO FAR OFF, NOT EVEN FOR A DAY
Don't go far off, not even for a day, because --
because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long
and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station
when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach;
may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance.
Don't leave me for a second, my dearest,

because in that moment you'll have gone so far
I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking,
Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

The Song of Despair

2009-08-11T17:03:00.002+08:00

The memory of you emerges from the night around me.
The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea.

Deserted like the dwarves at dawn.
It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one!

Cold flower heads are raining over my heart.
Oh pit of debris, fierce cave of the shipwrecked.

In you the wars and the flights accumulated.
From you the wings of the song birds rose.

You swallowed everything, like distance.
Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank!

It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss.
The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse.

Pilot's dread, fury of blind driver,
turbulent drunkenness of love, in you everything sank!

In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded.
Lost discoverer, in you everything sank!

You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire,
sadness stunned you, in you everything sank!

I made the wall of shadow draw back,
beyond desire and act, I walked on.

Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost,
I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you.

Like a jar you housed infinite tenderness.
and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar.

There was the black solitude of the islands,
and there, woman of love, your arms took me in.

There was thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit.
There were grief and ruins, and you were the miracle.

Ah woman, I do not know how you could contain me
in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms!

How terrible and brief my desire was to you!
How difficult and drunken, how tensed and avid.

Cemetery of kisses, there is still fire in your tombs,
still the fruited boughs burn, pecked at by birds.

Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs,
oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies.

Oh the mad coupling of hope and force
in which we merged and despaired.

And the tenderness, light as water and as flour.
And the word scarcely begun on the lips.

This was my destiny and in it was my voyage of my longing,
and in it my longing fell, in you everything sank!

Oh pit of debris, everything fell into you,
what sorrow did you not express, in what sorrow are you not drowned!

From billow to billow you still called and sang.
Standing like a sailor in the prow of a vessel.

You still flowered in songs, you still brike the currents.
Oh pit of debris, open and bitter well.

Pale blind diver, luckless slinger,
lost discoverer, in you everything sank!

It is the hour of departure, the hard cold hour
which the night fastens to all the timetables.

The rustling belt of the sea girdles the shore.
Cold stars heave up, black birds migrate.

Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
Only tremulous shadow twists in my hands.

Oh farther than everything. Oh farther than everything.

It is the hour of departure. Oh abandoned one!

Things about me currently

2009-05-25T23:26:00.002+08:00

ABC About You Questions:
A - AVAILABLE: Nope cause I'm an enemy to all
B - BIRTHDAY: 28/12/1989
C - CRUSHING ON: A girl I like from a certain CHIJ SCHOOL
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: MILK TEA
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: 1st must be my BIG SIS "JAYCE", THEN BROTHER "Danny", THEN 2ND BROTHER "VICTOR", THEN THIRD BROTHER "BK", 2ND BIG SIS "JINGLE", FORTH BRO "GABRIAL" YEAH EASY GOING PEOPLE ROCK
F - FAVORITE SONG: Better luck next time prince charming by Alesana
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Both HEHEHEHE
H - HOMETOWN: Malaysia, Melacca and also singapore
I - IN LOVE WITH: F.... S.......
J - JUGGLE: Nope
K - KILLED SOMEONE: Almost during T.K.D Years
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Singapore To Thailand
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Strawberry hehehehe
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 2
O - ONE WISH: To retire by the age of 30 and have 2 daughters
P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: JAYCE
R- REASON TO SMILE: Force to or else people think I look damn scarry but hate it cause people will think they could make me their errand boy or some lame shit.
S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: This Is Usually The Part Where People Scream by Alesana
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 5.00 a.m.
V - VEGETABLE(S): everything. no complains.
W - WORST HABIT: Daydreaming
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: A LOT!!!!
Y – YOYOS ARE: Damn nice when you knw how to do tricks.
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Snake

Random Questions About You:
Spell your name without vowels: MHMMD ZKR BN ZKRH
What color do you wear most?: Black
What are you listening to? DEATH METAL
Are you happy with your life right now? LIFE SUX! but what u gonna do about it.
What is your favorite class in school? The class where I can sleep.
When do you start back at school/college?: After NS I guess
Are you outgoing?: Yeah
Favorite pair of shoes?: My black DC shoes
Where do you wish you were right now?: Visiting my relatives at Australia.

THE CANS:
Can you dance?: I don't know maybe.
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: nope! It’s so hard!
Can you whistle?: Yeah!
Write with both hands?: Yeah I guess
Walk with your toes curled?:Yeah It looks funny when i walk that way

THE DO'S:
Do you believe there is life on other planets?: YUP
Do you believe in miracles?: Yes cause i believe in God
Do you believe in magic?: What kind of magic? Las Vegas magic or Harry Potter magic? Or dark magic? Dark magic. Cause I love GORE.
Love at first sight?: NEVER
Do you think there's a Satan?: sure.
Do you believe in Santa?: No.
Do you know how to swim?: YEAH I love to swim!
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: YEAH! tried it during survival camp training at trenganu jungle

THE HAVES:
Have you ever been on a plane?: Yep.
Have you ever asked someone out?: Yup
Have you ever been asked out by someone?: Yup
Have you ever been to the ocean?: DUH!!!
Have you ever painted your nails?: Yeah! Black when I was into goth

THE WHATS:
What is the temperature outside?: 31 degree Celsius
What radio station do you listen to?: 98.7FM
What was the last restaurant you ate at?: Sakura
What was the last thing you bought?: Sweets
Who was the last person you took a picture of?: Me n my god sis

CRYING SECTION:
Ever really cried your heart out?: yeah.
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: yep.
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: Yup
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: Yup
Do you cry when you get an injury?: Nope I'll just laugh it off
Do certain songs make you cry?: Yup

HAPPY SECTION.
Are you a happy person?: If you want me to pretend that I'm happy then yes
What can make you happy?: Smoking, slacking with my frens from TP
Do you wish you were happier?: Nope It's nice as it is.
Can music make you happy?: Definitely, espeacially when it makes my head bang.

LOVE SECTION.
How many times have you had your heart broken?: Too many times too count :(
Have you ever loved someone so much that you'd die for them?: no. I’ve never been put in that situation.

LOOK AT ME.
What is your current hair color?: Duh! Black
Current piercings?: All close already!
Have any tattoos?: Never had one but I want to.
Eye color?: Dark Brown

IN A GIRL
Favorite eye color: Brown
Short or long hair: short? Long silky hair! =D
Height: shorter than me
Best clothing: t-shirt and jeans

HAVE YOU EVER.
Been to jail: Yup
Mooned someone: No.
Thrown up in a store: Yes, when i had stomach flu.
Done something really stupid that you still laugh at today: Punching someone till he bleeds.HAHAHAHA
Gone skinny dipping: nope.

THIS OR THAT.
Pepsi or Coke: Coke!
McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
Single or Group Dates: Group
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Strawberries or Blueberries: Strawberries
Meat or Veggies: both.
TV or Movie: Movie
Guitar or Drums?: GUITAR!!
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Chinese or Mexican: Chinese!!!
Cheerios or Corn Flakes: Cornflakes
Cake or Pie: Cake wohoooo.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOURAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

2009-03-03T22:45:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday Noura! You're a year older. Please take care of yourself for the rest of the year. An try lessen the stress you have. You can always talk to me you know. I'm here for ya. Always.

For The best Girl who turn my Life up side down

2009-02-13T23:12:00.003+08:00

MY PERFECT SISTER
My perfect sister holds me tight
My perfect sister knows when I’m mad
My perfect sister helps me when I’m sad
My perfect sister is so smart
My perfect sister has my heart
My perfect sister is good and nice
My perfect sister loves me lots
My perfect sister ties the knot
My perfect sister is here to stay
My perfect sister I have until this very day
My perfect sister I wish you well
My perfect sister yes I can tell
My perfect sister asked if I lied
My perfect sister knows if I’ve cried
->My perfect sister is in my heart to and will always stay<-

My Little Sister

My little sister is
always there when you need her.
My little sister is the
best little sister ever
and i would not trade her for anything.
My little sister has
a way of making everyone
laugh when they have a bad day.
My little sister is one of a kind
My little sister is annoying to,
but i still love her anyways.
My little sister
is also my best friend.

To the one I loved most

Noura Boura
a.k.a
Borat
a.k.a
Best friend I had to Date
a.k.a
Irritating(Joking:)
a.k.a
Best Gift
that
God Gave me

Kill Everyone Who Hates Me

2009-02-11T01:20:00.004+08:00

Faking a smile is better than being sad

HAhahahaha! Not been updating my blog for a very long long time been busy with school, work and night school. Been really stressful and crazy this couple of days, practically hate my life at this current stage. I've been missing my baby sisters lately, couldn't meet or give them tuition. Miss them badly, need to meet them soon cause they are my haven. For all i know, I feel so calm if i'm with them. It's like all my problems go WhoOsh!!! away. Amazingly yes. Today just eat and slept the whole day. Till evening, where i needed to go for studies at my aunt's place. I study better with my aunt than at home. Excludng when I'm with my sisters. So basically study study and had dinner at her house. Then started discussing about better teaching methods so that i could teach better for my students. I hope, I'll be a better teacher for all. But that talk strecth till 11++ close to midnight. Went back walking, started to think about life and whether i should get a date V DAy(Most probably not). Once i reached below my block, I just slacked on my own smoked some ciggs before going up. Basically today evaluation was pretty fruitful.

No comments

BOREDOM KILLS ME!!!!

2008-12-14T19:51:00.003+08:00

ARHHHHH!!!!There's nothing to do this past week and further more holidays just started. Damn! boredom to the max!!! Further more my best friend just backstab me for a girl. Damn that Bitch.
Haizzz When will my troubles end. Someone save me from this sorrow and Extreme boredom. haizzz. There's another 14 more days till my B-Day wonder what should i give myself or what should i wish for hmmmm.... I think would wish that my best friend would come back to me I feel so empty withou her. Please if you're reading this I'm very sorry. You're the only thing that helps me get through with life everyday even though you're there physically. But you were always my good luck charm to whatever i do. So please come back.

I really Miss you (-_-)

NEW BABY SISTER!!!!

2008-12-07T10:10:00.002+08:00

As said, I have a new baby sister and her name is NOURA BOURA!!!!!! HAHAHA. This little sister of my is very cheerful, irritating, hopeless, cute, loves to pout, loves Cheese Fries hahahaha. You might ask where did i found such a cute baby sister? HAh! Its a very funny story, she was my student and I was her teacher. An so to happen she was my friends sister, now if I think about it they do look alike from a certain view but the sister is still cute though. Anyway the first time I tried teaching her she was all shy n all. Never did said a word to me, she just noded on everything i was teaching. I was thinking is this girl mute or what. I didn't really paid much attention to her but as time comes i found myself getting closer and closer to her. Funny, I didn't realise till now we were tat close hahahaha. But I have no regretts meeting her, she can be said a perfect sister for me. I always wished if only I had a sister what should she be like. I would say I want her to be like Noura she'll make my everyday instresting.

Noura if you were to be reading this wanna be my little sister? hahaha

Be updating later stay tune

HAHAHA I GOT REJECTED TODAY

2008-12-02T11:40:00.003+08:00

Today marks the day I got rejected by Hidayah. But at least we still could be friends. Luckily I didn't put much hope into this or else I'll be having a breakdown. Anyway this will count as the 7th day i never go school I'm sick thats why. I want to go school!!!! Haizzz.... I'll keep posting Later on be sure to read ok?

Cheers People!!!!

Big Sorry Guys

2008-12-01T12:42:00.002+08:00

Sorry Guys for not updating my Blog for quite sometime got caught in a mess for quite sometime.
But it's ok now(thankfully).

OK Here's the update in my life so far

1. I'm Single(lonely)

2. Got a bit more richer than before(Actually alot richer)

3. Started to listen to ska song's again.

4. Created a couple of songs.

5. Broke my Guitar(SAD SERIOUSLY!)

6.Thought I found the one but NOT!

7. Missing my cousins n my cousin's friend.

An thats about it so far.

Don't worry I'll be updating this blog from now on.

CHEERSSS!!!!

She proved to me promises are meant to be broken

2008-09-13T00:01:00.002+08:00

Today it ended badly, I couldn't contact Ai cause she didn't replied my messages n pick up my call. If only she knew how worried I was Then she'll understand. An when I check her profile in friendster to see anything has change and it did. Guess what the Poem that I put my heart on was deleted. To think she promise never to hurt me again. All I can say Thanks Ai, is this the way you show love. I do not know which guy in the world would accept such cruelty. haizz I felt like shooting in a gun through my head for believing in her.If only I knew this was gonna happen I wouldn't ask her. Arhh The agony!!!

If only she replied that she was fine, it would had made me happy to know she safe at home or with friends/family. I've been lead on time after time again. No man in this world has the will to get hurt over and over again cause we're still human with emotions.

I'll end it here for today till Chows.

Wohoooo Happy Holidays XD

2008-09-12T11:13:00.004+08:00

Today is the day I the examination week ends Wohooo! But sadly I flung my 1st paper hahaha.
Arhh What the heck I still got my Diploma because that more important. I think I'm gonna past my 2nd paper though cause my girl gave me alot courage last night an I also studied really really hard for this exam paper. I wished I could call her and thank for the support it means alot. But sadly she hardly picks up my call haizzz(-_-) so i have to resort to text-ing. What a day, woke up at 7.30 a.m. bath abit of exercise and went of to school with motorbike. Luckily I came back home before it rain. I hate riding in the rain it kinda scares me.

I wonder when i can meet Aisha. Hmmm. O well its up to her whether she wants to or not cause I'm not a person who likes to force people. I think thats about it not much today. Maybe later I'll update my blog hmmm look if I have the mood to write again.

2008-09-12T03:19:00.000+08:00

I'm Nineteen.

Asia Pacific Sports & Business School/ITE COLLEGE EAST.

I'm setting my priorities straight and I know just what I want. I used to look at the world in a different angle. I never really did had fond memories of my childhood. Thought maybe there's more to life than finding true love. I may have undergone all these changes both phisically and emotionally but it doesn't mean I've lost all attitude. I tend not to know much when it comes to Mrt lines. Also, I tend to be pretty juvenile at times. I've got a hole in my brain so that just explains why I've short term memory. Other times, I have bad days and dejavu. I write songs. I sing them. I play the guitar, clarinet and a little bit of the FLUTE(PEOPLE IT'S A FLUTE). I compose songs for its one way or another to console my tattered heart. I love the scent of freshly fallen rain and the gradual pinking of the sky. Be it by all means, I'd like to be a Sports Manager and maybe take up photography. Thank You. ( Nobody bothers reading this anyway )

My E-mails: zack_curismo@hotmail.com/bleedingskysuicidestars@live.com

My Playlist:http://www.imeem.com/ai2z

September 11, The Day I'll Never forget

2008-09-12T02:02:00.000+08:00

Who would had thought the person I love most came back to my life. Who am I Talking about? It's Aisha Keith Thaddeus, she's the girl who gave me meaning in this cruel world. We were together once but we broke up for reasons that we both do not know. Hahaha Strange eh. When we broke up I said to myself "What in the Moo Moo Cow is going in her head?!". So I was left stranded without any reason. To make up for that I made my own reason so I thought It might be because of studies She ain't concentrating enough so I felt it might be very well the reason. So I moved on. ever since the day we broke up I never did loved someone like she did even though we didn't really met but gosh she was Perfect for me that is. Always thinking of her I became a wanderer with no love to feel or touch.

After months n weeks of no contact, I've got a new number n one of the 1st couple of people I contacted was she Aisha Ms Little Cookie Monster. Knowing her style of texting it'll take around 15 mins or so to reply(sheesh quite long too reply don't you think actually too long)

So I almost gave up hope on her replying soon after a miracle came she replied I was overjoyed. It felt like God has forgiven me for my sin kind of feeling. But Sadly when she replied she kinda scolded me. She said where have I've been all this time I didn't text her call her and she felt as though it was 12345678910 years since I last contacted her and also I've been missed by her. So basically the other side of me took over, I kept apologizing again and again. i also said she's been missed greatly by me too.Oh Yeah this all happen when I was in night class mugging on my Diploma in Sports Management just to add on.

So we text all night till a Message that she send caught my eye "If Only I could all over but but but like what you said, what is done, is done. so Jyeah." This message alone told me Zikir you better get her back before its too late.So guess what I did being a very straight forward guy I asked whether she really do want to start all over if she did would she stay cause there's no turning back to it. She said yes, again she manage too pull me back out of the darkness that I was in after she left me. I was Happy no other word can describe how I felt that day. It was the day I'll never forget. Sure our age difference is 4 years but what the heck we love each other and that what really count.

So hopefully this time It works out cause I do love her.